Difficult personalities exist in all walks of life, and while it’s often possible to avoid confrontation, this luxury doesn’t exist when you’re leading a team. As a manager, it’s your responsibility to work collaboratively with all team members — including those who may be more challenging. Here, we explore some practical strategies to help navigate these situations effectively and professionally.
Reflect on Your Own Approach
Start by examining the situation from all angles — including your own. Are you overreacting or misinterpreting someone’s behaviour? Think about your own communication style and personality traits. Could there be a mismatch that’s causing friction?
Not every conflict stems from overtly difficult behaviour — sometimes it’s a matter of differing styles, expectations or even personal stress. Self-awareness can help you respond constructively rather than emotionally.
Recognise That Everyone Has Off Days
Sometimes, difficult behaviour is the result of external pressures — such as personal issues, stress, or health concerns. In these cases, patience and empathy can go a long way.
Rather than ignoring or immediately confronting the behaviour, consider checking in with the individual. A simple “How are you doing?” can create space for honest conversation and show that you value them as a person, not just an employee. People often respond positively when they feel heard and supported.
Focus on Strengths and Contributions
Diverse teams — made up of different personalities, backgrounds and working styles — often perform the best. But diversity of thought can also lead to miscommunication and tension if not managed carefully.
Rather than focusing on a team member’s perceived shortcomings, shift your attention to what they do well. How can their strengths be better utilised? Understanding their preferred communication and working style can help you adjust your own approach and foster better collaboration.
Stay Positive and Set the Tone
Negative attitudes can have a ripple effect on team morale. Often, people who are constantly negative don’t realise the impact they’re having. Instead of letting it drain your energy, try to redirect the conversation.
Allow a limited amount of time for the team member to express frustrations — around four or five minutes. Then, acknowledge their concerns, steer the discussion toward solutions, and re-focus on shared goals. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but you can take control by maintaining a calm, positive and forward-thinking tone.
Handling Aggressive or Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
Dealing with aggression — whether direct or subtle — is particularly challenging. In these situations, maintaining professionalism is crucial. Avoid responding emotionally, as this can escalate the situation. Instead, stay calm, stick to the facts, and assert your boundaries respectfully.
If a team member repeatedly communicates in a way that’s confrontational or undermining, raise the issue in a private, one-to-one conversation. Be specific about the behaviour, its impact, and the standards expected in your team. Avoid public confrontations, and always document any concerning behaviour.
If the behaviour continues despite informal discussions, it may be appropriate to escalate the matter through your organisation’s formal processes.
When to Take Formal Action
Sometimes, despite best efforts, informal methods aren’t enough. If difficult behaviour is persistent, disruptive, or breaches workplace policies, it may be necessary to begin a formal disciplinary or capability process.
Before doing so, seek advice from your HR department or a legal advisor to ensure that the process is fair, well-documented, and compliant with employment law.
In Summary
Managing a difficult team member requires a balance of empathy, self-awareness, and decisiveness. Remember:
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Stay calm and manage your emotions.
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Reflect on the root of the behaviour — could it be situational?
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Focus on the person’s strengths and potential contributions.
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Address issues respectfully and informally where possible.
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If necessary, follow formal procedures with the support of HR or legal advisers.
If you need guidance on managing employee behaviour or navigating formal HR processes, DTM Legal’s Employment & HR team is here to help. Call Tom Evans on 0151 230 1217 or email employment@dtmlegal.com
